Punk.

Hi baby.

I miss you more than anything in this world. I know we didn’t expect to be separated so suddenly, and I am heartbroken to live in our house and walk our paths without you. You were my connection to love and joy, and I hope I told you I love you enough to last you eternity. It is so hard to think you aren’t coming home; you aren’t on the pillow next to me, waiting for me to wake up and love you.

I feel your shadow next to me, and all I can do is cry. If you can see me or know where and how I am now, I do not want you to be sad. I want you to be happy to see how much I loved you, every single moment of every single day I knew you.

You taught me so much about love, joy, quietness, and peace, things that have eluded me for much of my life. Now you are teaching me about loss and another side of love.

I am accepting that you aren’t coming back to me—that I won’t kiss your sweet nose or see you looking into my eyes, waiting for a sign of our next adventure. My heart hurts so much - I worry about you being okay wherever you are and I worry about me existing without you. 

I hope I see you again, that we can be together in another time and place, because being here without you I am missing half of my heart.